Little scared
(i had decide to write of all fears that hunt me for this pass 2 weeks. May it help)
So i went to my latest appointment last 2 days. The doctor said that everything was fine, my blood test, my urine, x-ray and so on. I am quite disappointed cause i met different doctors and they are giving different diagnosis and treatment. But i was lucky, my latest doctor was showing more interest to dig what happen to me. He ask me,
"do you have any family history who had cancer?"
i said no. then he ask me about my eating disoder, my working enviroment, and my meals. At first he predict that i might have gallstone, then it might be anything else. at the end of it he said "but i can't be. you are still young."
i am not sure what i am suppose to react. so i just smiled and i am completely confuse.
he doesn't no what the best diagnosis, so he made me going through colonoscopy but will take next year to undergo it.
Now, Let me tell you something. I had pain too, in my head. it feels like being hit. I don't really have so much energy, i get fatigue. Easily. After a long day, i might had headache. But it is bearable. So i don't really care about it.
i get stomach ache after i have my meals. mother nature calling after it. i eat with small portion. i can't exceed more than that, if not, i might vomit.
so right now, i need re-set my brain to ignore all the symptoms and live a life. Look, i don't like to dwell into this kind of stuff too. But it drag me. It drag me everyday. Sometimes i just want too let this things out of mind and don't care at any of it. At all.
Oh Allah, forgive me. But please. Ease my journey. Ameen.
So i went to my latest appointment last 2 days. The doctor said that everything was fine, my blood test, my urine, x-ray and so on. I am quite disappointed cause i met different doctors and they are giving different diagnosis and treatment. But i was lucky, my latest doctor was showing more interest to dig what happen to me. He ask me,
"do you have any family history who had cancer?"
i said no. then he ask me about my eating disoder, my working enviroment, and my meals. At first he predict that i might have gallstone, then it might be anything else. at the end of it he said "but i can't be. you are still young."
i am not sure what i am suppose to react. so i just smiled and i am completely confuse.
he doesn't no what the best diagnosis, so he made me going through colonoscopy but will take next year to undergo it.
Now, Let me tell you something. I had pain too, in my head. it feels like being hit. I don't really have so much energy, i get fatigue. Easily. After a long day, i might had headache. But it is bearable. So i don't really care about it.
i get stomach ache after i have my meals. mother nature calling after it. i eat with small portion. i can't exceed more than that, if not, i might vomit.
so right now, i need re-set my brain to ignore all the symptoms and live a life. Look, i don't like to dwell into this kind of stuff too. But it drag me. It drag me everyday. Sometimes i just want too let this things out of mind and don't care at any of it. At all.
Oh Allah, forgive me. But please. Ease my journey. Ameen.
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