Titanium
Hello everyone,
So last friday i had my second appointment with surgical department. I am not sure what they try to convey, but i caught 'some special message' hidden in his conversation with his clique (he ask her friends dr dalila to check on me). There are something in my bowel. But a tiny little things. The Dr ask me if i had weight loss, fatigue, or anemia? Then i said, i do. But the anemia, i am not sure, since i cant no more monitor my FBC. Which i always did when i take some drugs for my skin. But i no longer take it. So i don't know how my FBC goes.
Dr ask me to draw my blood to know my FBC, abdoment X Ray and my stools sample. I was like.. Ok Fine this is for my betterment. I do make reseach about the diagnosis, and i found out that it is bowel cancer. If the anemia is approved. Then it is. If it is not, it will be other internal organ. Oh Allah make everything at ease, and Let me do this with all the strength i could have.
When everything at all progress, i do feel afraid, anxiety, and mixed feelings. I really need some company. I do want to tell my fellow friends, especially my other half. But it seems not unstable right now, she got something way more important than this mess. And yesterday she update that she want to devote herself to the love of her life - GEOLOGY. She never disappointing me, she know what she do. She is pure. Well me, i don't want to drag her with this mess. Maybe not now. And she too update this month (october 2017) will be interesting month. So i guess, i don't want make any chaos or any mess in her life. You, if one day you ever read this, please know that i love you. i do want you to know every single things i go through, what i felt, i want your hug. But i love you more than myself, then i want you to focus on your passion. sorry.
ps: titanium because i currently listen to this song.
So last friday i had my second appointment with surgical department. I am not sure what they try to convey, but i caught 'some special message' hidden in his conversation with his clique (he ask her friends dr dalila to check on me). There are something in my bowel. But a tiny little things. The Dr ask me if i had weight loss, fatigue, or anemia? Then i said, i do. But the anemia, i am not sure, since i cant no more monitor my FBC. Which i always did when i take some drugs for my skin. But i no longer take it. So i don't know how my FBC goes.
Dr ask me to draw my blood to know my FBC, abdoment X Ray and my stools sample. I was like.. Ok Fine this is for my betterment. I do make reseach about the diagnosis, and i found out that it is bowel cancer. If the anemia is approved. Then it is. If it is not, it will be other internal organ. Oh Allah make everything at ease, and Let me do this with all the strength i could have.
When everything at all progress, i do feel afraid, anxiety, and mixed feelings. I really need some company. I do want to tell my fellow friends, especially my other half. But it seems not unstable right now, she got something way more important than this mess. And yesterday she update that she want to devote herself to the love of her life - GEOLOGY. She never disappointing me, she know what she do. She is pure. Well me, i don't want to drag her with this mess. Maybe not now. And she too update this month (october 2017) will be interesting month. So i guess, i don't want make any chaos or any mess in her life. You, if one day you ever read this, please know that i love you. i do want you to know every single things i go through, what i felt, i want your hug. But i love you more than myself, then i want you to focus on your passion. sorry.
ps: titanium because i currently listen to this song.
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